I’m a somewhat avid cook, I like preparing my own meals and trying out new recipes. Italian pasta dishes and banana bread are firmly within my wheelhouse. This is where I will hopefully post some of my staple recipes as well as some of my own creations.

From a young age I’ve been exposed to cookery programmes. These have always been rather omnipresent, but I’ve grown up alongside the explosion of the celebrity chef culture that now grips us like a poncy, pretentious food snob vice grip. It’s no longer enough for a tv chef to present to us his recipes in a quaint, unassuming fashion, hopeful that we enjoy the flavours.

No. Current chefs cultivate a cult of personality. They present masturbatory travelougue shows where they explore not just food, but something deeper. They assault our life choices, telling us what to eat, where to buy it and why our choices are ethically wrong. They embark on crusades to make us eat less, eat better, cook for ourselves to their standards, forgo value, cherish the local, spit disdainfully on the out of season.

I am in the unique position of watching a number of these programmes while resenting each chef in a special, usually profane and defamatory way. While I may enjoy Jamie Oliver’s parsnip and pancetta tagliatelle, and recommend it to you here, I will also be quick to write a fuck filled writ of scathing hatred about the man. It will be a baffling yet flavourful journey.


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