Mad Banter: A Tale of Two Cities

“Because it’s better than being screwed by you”

Chaough: “Apparently his feelings were hurt because we haven’t kissed his ring”

Pete:  “Well I’d be happy to go there and help soften him up”

*Makes no attempt to mask ring kissing enthusiasm


Don: “I don’t wanna miss our flight, we going?”

Roger: “Right after the partners meeting”

Don: *Looks around, “Oh”

*Sits down, “We done here?”


Roger: “My biggest job in these meetings is to keep them from saying GOOLEEE! too many times”

Don: “Carnation has 27 million in billings, I don’t think the guy in charge ties his pants with a rope”


Roger: “Our biggest challenge is to not get syphilis”


Ginsberg: “You love business but you hate everything else! Freedom, blacks, jews…”

Stan: “This is my stop”


Ginsberg: “Were you rooting for the Soviets in Prague too ya Nazi!”

Bob Benson: “Michael what are you doing that man is your boss?”


Ginsy: “Thanks for making that worse!” (You called him a Nazi Mike, it doesn’t get any worse)


Cutler:  “I think we should remove the rest of their people while Sterling, Draper and Crane are in California.  Just lock the gates and leave Pete Campbell as the doorman”


Chaough: “Who is it?”

Peggy: “It’s Avon Cosmetics”

Quick Chaough McGraw: “Very groovy”


Don: “No. I tried to sleep on the plane but somebody wouldn’t stop talking”


Jack the world’s most intense instant breakfast enthusiast: “Last night was disgusting. Seeing those longhaired fools SHAME THIS COUNTRY! *Slams desk. You think Richard Nixon is going to fix that?


Jack the world’s most intense instant breakfast enthusiast: “Now why don’t you gentlemen tell us how it’s possible to devote your energies to our delicious and nutritious instant breakfast and Life cereal at the same time?”

Harry, Roger and Don: *Befuddlement


Stan The Man: “Oh suuure, you’ll talk to him?”

Ginzo: “I love you, you know that. You’re a mother hen”

Stan: *Warm motherly smile


Bob Benson: “Come on buddy! You’re not death (I’m death). You got a little stage fright, maybe you smoked too many funny cigarettes?”

Ginsberg: “I never touch that stuff it makes you crazy!”

*Looks around with wild, crazy eyes.


Ginsberg: “Tell me the truth. Are you a homo?”

Bob Benson: “There’s that sense of humour!”


Harry: “I’ve known Steven a very long time”

Roger: “whereas Danny we’ve only known for a very… short time”


Ellis from Die Hard: “You know Ben?”

Harry: “Do you?!”


Roger: “You know I was a boxer. There’s nothing like finding that magic spot that would drop a man to his knees. You know, unless he’s already starting there”

Danny: *Dick punch


Chaough: “Shit! Weren’t you there?”

Cutler: “I thought it was high time we embraced Bob” (it’s high time we all embraced Bob)

Bob Benson: “He was going to go, I talked him out of it”

Chaough: “Roger Sterling let you walk his dog and it ran away”


Cutler: “I want you to familiarise yourself with Chevvy. We found out we’re moving to the next step and we’ll need more than Ken in Detroit”

Bob Benson: “That’s music to my ears”


Pete: “The entire thing falls apart if I send you to the store to get cake and you eat it on the way home!”


Quick Chaough McGraw: “How was California?”

Roger: “It was a series of busts… and not the kind I like”


Disclaimer – I do not in any way condone the use of the word “banter” in any situation or context.

Click here for more Mad Banter.

Bonus Scumbag Harry

Bonus Scumbag Harry


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