“Don’t cry; just listen to me”
Ken: “Put the gun away jack!”
*Car crash
Roger: “Why don’t you take a nap? Your face looks like a bag of walnuts”
Chaough: “Can you believe this crap?”
Don: “Yes I can”
Ken: “No one cares that I almost got killed?”
Everyone: *No fucks given
Don: “We’ve given them seven ways to go in six weeks. We don’t even get to talk to them? We have to depend on this cripple?”
Don: “Are you afraid of him?”
Sylvia: “No! I’m afraid of you. I don’t think you understand”
Don: *Befuddlement
Betty: “Where did you get that skirt?”
Sally: “I bought it”
Betty: “You mean Megan bought it for you”
Sally: “I earned it”
Betty: “On what street corner?”
Cutler: “Age before beauty”
*Sprints up staircase
Don: “What’s in it?”
Dr Feelgood: “It’s proprietary, but all you need to know is it’s a complex vitamin superdose. It’s basically my own combination of B vitamins and a mild stimulant. You have a heart condition?
Don: “No I thought you said it was mild. What does it do?”
Dr Feelgood: “A lot of things, but I think it’ll give you what Jim Cutler says you need. 24 to 72 hours of uninterrupted creative focus, energy and confidence”
Don: “Really?”
*Wonders how the doctor stole his semen.
Dr Feelgood: “SCDPCGC. That’s a mouthful”
Dr Feelgood: “Who’s next?”
Roger: “That’d be me but I have a heart condition”
Dr Feelgood: “Don’t worry about it”
Ken: “It’s my job…
It’s my job. To take them to dinner at 80 miles per hour.
It’s my job. To stop a mile from the restaurant so they can have 5 pounds of crabs legs and three bottles of beer a piece, and then go get prime rib.
It’s my job. To go hunting so they can fire off their guns an inch from my ear and laugh when I get startled because…
It’s my job.”
Don: *Long, rambling, nonsensical speech about ‘the darkness’.
Stan: *Astonishment
*Stan arrives, loudly brandishing a notepad
Stan: “I did it! I’ve got Six hundred and sixty six ideas!”
Ginsberg: “I’m wasting my Saturday with lunatics”
Peggy: “And that makes them buy a car?”
Wild eyed, spam faced Don: “If this strategy is successful, it’s way bigger than a car! It’s everything”
Peggy: *Befuddlement
Chaough Town: “What the hell went on here this weekend? Half of this work is gibberish, Chevy is spelled wrong”
Betty: “I’ll tell you what’s going on. Some elderly Negro woman held your children hostage and robbed you blind”
Sweaty Spam Don: “What?!”
Bobby Draper: “She said she was your mother…”
Don: *Collapses
Disclaimer – I do not in any way condone the use of the word “banter” in any situation or context.
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